Picture Perfect
by Psychodahlia
Summary: Misato has a few more beers than she should and someone takes her picture. Formatting has been fixed, thanks to everyone who let me know about it. Reviews appreciated.


Misato sniffed and drowsily looked at her eighth glass of beer. Or was it her ninth? She couldn't remember.  
  
Her troubles were many but the one that had drove her to the bar concerned the two children she was responsible for raising. Shinji had finally grown a spine and had uncharacteristically told Asuka to ".quit bothering me and leave me alone!" The result of this newfound backbone was a bloody nose.  
  
So Shinji had a bloody nose and couldn't talk right because of it. And Asuka was grounded for being a bitch. Misato had been honestly surprised Asuka had turned to violence. Usually the girl was content with verbal abuse.  
  
Misato sighed and finished off her beer, stood up and promptly fell down. She hauled herself to her feet and started staggering.  
  
Had Misato been sober, she would have made her way towards the door. However, in her current, drunken state of being she made her way towards the stage commonly reserved for strippers.  
  
As she twirled around the pole Misato blinked as flash from the "audience" went off. Several more flashes went off when she took off her shirt. She was almost blinded by the flashes when she started raising the hem of her skirt and rotating her hips.  
  
It was ten minutes to midnight when she stumbled out of the bar and staggered her way to the apartment complex.  
  
"Wark wark wark!"  
  
"Hmm. Go'way Pen pen. Not time for work."  
  
"Wark wark!"  
  
"G'way."  
  
"Misato! Get your lazy butt out of bed! You're gonna be late for work."  
  
Misato lifted her head and looked at the clock and screamed.  
  
"Ne, Misato, are you alri." Shinji's eyes widened as he glanced in Misato's room just before she put on her shirt.  
  
"MorningShinjican'ttalkgottarunI'mgonnabelateforworkbye." Misato rushed pass Shinji and was out the door before anyone could say anything. Shinji stood frozen and didn't notice when Asuka walked up beside him.  
  
"What was that all about?" Shinji didn't answer. "Shinji?" Still no answer. "Hey Idiot!" He remained silent. Asuka was about to hit him for ignoring her but decided against it. Shrugging her shoulders she went and got her school bag and left.  
  
Makoto Hyuga wiped the sweat of his forehead and checked his watch. If he ran, maybe he could catch the bus and not be late for work. According to his watch, he had five minutes before the bus was scheduled to arrive.  
  
Three minutes.  
  
Two minutes.  
  
One minute.  
  
Makoto stopped and took a deep breath. He had made it to the bus stop with thirty seconds to spare. Angels were watching over him. Or maybe not.  
  
The bus was ten minutes late. Makoto grumbled at the driver and went to take a seat beside his friend and co-worker, Aoba Shigeru.  
  
"I have something you wanna see." Aoba said in a sing-song voice.  
  
"I'm not interested."  
  
"Really? Guess I'll have to sell these pictures of Misato to someone else then."  
  
Makoto paused and looked at Aoba. "Excuse me?"  
  
"Misato went to a bar last night and she.got a little bit drunk."  
  
Makoto rolled his eyes. "I see Misato every day. I am not interested in seeing pictures of her drunk."  
  
The bus stopped and the two men got off and started walking toward the Nerv building.  
  
"Seriously Makoto, it's not that she's drunk. It's what she's doing while she's drunk.trust me, you want these pictures."  
  
"Why do you want to sell these pictures so badly?" Makoto asked. In response Aoba grabbed his wrist and dragged him across the street to a music shop.  
  
"That's why."  
  
"Aoba, it's a guitar."  
  
"It's not just any guitar my friend. It's THE guitar."  
  
"It's a guitar."  
  
"No, it's an instrument of heavenly craftsmanship and infinite beauty."  
  
"It's an instrument of heavenly craftsmanship and infinite beauty that costs a lot of money."  
  
"That's why I'm going to sell you those pictures."  
  
"I'm not buying them."  
  
"Yes you are."  
  
The conversation continued like that until they reached Nerv.  
  
"Aoba, face it, I'm not buying the pictures."  
  
"You haven't even seen the pictures!" Aoba protested.  
  
"I don't want to see the pictures. I see Misato every day at work. Why would I buy pictures of her?"  
  
"Because you love and lust after her?"  
  
Makoto sighed. That was true. Before they started attacking, he could have sworn angels looked like Misato. He worshipped the ground she walked upon. He often saw light beaming down from above shining on her. He fantasized at night about her.her lips, her legs, her oh-so soft breasts.they would be so soft.so squishy, so bouncy.he could almost feel them underneath his hands at this moment..  
  
"Ne.Makoto?"  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"Please stop groping my chest and buy the damn pictures already."  
  
Makoto opened his eyes and saw where his hands were.  
  
They were clutching Aoba's chest.  
  
There were people staring.  
  
At him.  
  
Aoba was looking at him strangely.  
  
His hands.  
  
Were gripping.  
  
Aoba's.  
  
Chest.  
  
"AAAAUUUUGGGGHHHH."  
  
Maya Ibuki looked up as her friends and co-workers stumbled into the Nerv Control Area. Aoba looked slightly.violated was the only word Maya could think of, and Makoto looked.like he'd been scarred for life. Blinking a few times she decided to ignore it and gave them her best smile. "Hi guys!"  
  
"Whimper."  
  
"Growl."  
  
Blink blink blink. Okaaaaay.  
  
"Ne, Maya?"  
  
"Hai?"  
  
"I gotta question for you."  
  
"Go on."  
  
"If someone you know had pictures of someone you liked, would you be willing to buy them?" Aoba threw a significant glance at Makoto, who was doing his best to ignore them.  
  
"Uh, what kind of pictures?"  
  
"Of the person you like without their shirt, on a stage, drunk, strip dancing."  
  
Maya began to conjure up an image of Ritsuko in her head. "And you say their shirt is off?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"The person you love and lust after right?" Maya sighed. Before they started attacking, she could have sworn angels looked like Ritsuko. She worshipped the ground she walked upon. She often saw light beaming down from above shining on her. She fantasized at night about her.her lips, her legs, her oh-so soft breasts.they would be so soft.so squishy, so bouncy.she could almost feel them underneath her hands at this moment..  
  
"Ne.Maya?"  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"Please stop groping my chest." Maya opened her eyes and saw where her hands were.  
  
They were clutching Aoba's chest.  
  
Makoto was staring.  
  
At her.  
  
Aoba was looking at her strangely.  
  
Her hands.  
  
Were gripping.  
  
Aoba's.  
  
Chest.  
  
"AAAAUUUUGGGGHHHH."  
  
As Maya ran screaming from the room Makoto turned to Aoba. "I'll buy the pictures."  
  
End  
  
Author's notes- First of all, I am so sorry the format for this was messed up when I first posted it. I did not realize this. Many thanks to the reviewers who let me know what was going on. **Hands out cookies**.  
  
Eva and all it's characters belong to Gainax. Not to me. Why would you think they belonged to me anyway? What's wrong with you? I mean, highly successful animes are not usually owned by teenagers. 


End file.
